It's late but my lil one is still awake, Took this chance to snap a few pictures to relish her charms before she is a little older tomorrow.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
A test of my commitment
Finally after a month of confinement, i am almost free from pains to blog.
But firstly thank you SO much to those who encouraged me and shown care for my breastfeeding issues. I really appreciate it.
Reasons of me not updating frequently is partly due to the overwhelming attention baby Kaelin is demanding from me. From breastfeeding round the clock every 1-3 hourly, 12 hours a day, diaper changing so many times till I lost count. Not to mention soothing her colicky cries for hours. Taking care of a newborn is seriously no joke!!!
After a week of struggling with my perineal wound, comes my feeding woes. I thought I had all the answers about breastfeeding. After all I breastfed Kieran for 18 months. I left the hospital so confidently.
A week later here I am battling with my breastfeeding woes. So much so that I was traumatised and if I had gone through this episode earlier during Kieran's time perhaps I would have not continued with my second baby. - maybe.
Not that I had the most perfect and painless experience with Kieran but I swear this time round the pain really took me to another level.
My breast was engorged one afternoon after miss fed for 6 hours. Both me and baby Kaelin was sleeping so soundly and I was obviously dead tired from the previous night of soothing not 1 but 2 crying machines. the engorgement didn't went off till I slept with pain killer.
Woke up at midnight by high fever, shivered like mad, very bad nausea and vomiting. I felt myself almost fainting from the giddiness, couldn't even make my way properly to the toilet.
The next morning hub accompanied me to see the doctor. I was diagnosed with "mastitis" they gave me antibiotics and was massage by one of the nurses to clear the blocked ducts. The nurses was kind enough to massage not using her full strength but it was still painful enough that I clenched my fists and my teeth so tightly with each of her pushes.
Happily I thought I would recover after the massaage and after taking the antibiotics but instead it got worst. The pain intensified each day. 2 days later I was referred to KK hospital A & E. Thanks to my dear fren Maggie who told me how the treatment for mastitis was like in hospital I cried even before the treatment starts!!!
I was told by her from her friend experience that they used cows and bulls trength to push and massage till the lump and ducts clear, then blood and pus will ooze out of the nipples pores! how scary is this?!
Though I really dread going to the hospital but I felt helpless, plus the pain was really killing me. After examined and confirmed it was mastitis, the lactation consultant massage me AGAIN for an hour! This time round much more pain!!! I was at first hopeful that perhaps they would use another method to treat me.
Maggie was right, they really used cows and bulls strength on me but still the lump was there and no signs of blood and pus yet.
Hubby brought me to one of our favourite dim sum at Geylang during our dating days for supper right after the treatment at 3am. I was so hungry but after the treatment the pain totally turns my hunger button off. Couldn't enjoy the food at all but at least that place did brought back many fond memories to soothe my pain a little..
After a week of antibiotics and using the method of massage they taught me, my condition did not improve the slightest bit! in fact it got more swollen, red, and the lump becomes harder. With all these add the demands from my two babies got me all depressed and moody. I couldn't stop thinking what went wrong, I took my med on time, massage using the same method every 3 hourly, each massage was as if nightmare to me at times I broke into tears while doing it, I was like inflicting pain to myself!
Imagined the the pain of the wound is like scalded skin with burning sensation and yet I had to forced myself to pressed hard and massage for 20 mins.How can it not get better with all these efforts and sacrificing my much needed sleep?!
Thankfully I had my mil and my maid to help me out with Kieran during this period, at the same time I really felt guilty that I had neglected him and I miss him sleeping beside me. I totally didn't enjoyed breastfeeding my baby this time round nor well rested during my confinement because I was all worn out anticipating the pain.
I decided to seek second opinion from another lactation consultant at Mount A hospital. I almost threw the name card away over confidently thinking I wouldn't be calling them anyway.
I was then referred to a breast surgeon there after the consultant seen me. Doctor Yong did an ultrasound scan for me said it had already developed into breast infection with abscess. My previous antibiotics wasn't strong enough for me. The only way was to do a needle aspirations or surgery to remove the abscess and blood out. Of cause I choose needle method. Who in the right mind wants to let the breast go under the knife? unless its for cosmetics reason!
The needle was thick and long, I didn't had any anaesthesia. Definitely it was painful when the needle was pierced through my skin. I cried uncontrollably. I think I look like one big baby there. The doctor kept saying sorry to me. I must say he and his assistant was very nice. They were so empathetic to me. The lady stroke my head and tried to calm me down telling me its done, don't worry.
Though I was tempted of taking the short cut cause the pain was almost killing me, but at the back of my head I clearly know what's best for my baby, I kept praying to God, cause only he know what is the best solution. If Dr Yong never advice that I should stop breastfeeding Kaelin, then I will continue to do what I think is right.
I wish to post those pictures of my gross wounds and my breasts but of cause I couldn't, it would definitely scare those new mummies!
Note to new moms out there: A lesson I learnt. If you ever experience engorgement with redness, pain on your breast and fever, don't wait, go to the hospital immediately, not to normal GPs they are not breast nor lactation specialist, they may gave you wrong advice and prescribed wrong antibiotics.
Now as I look at my wound I wondered if it would leave a scar behind as it was quite big. Anyway I shouldn't be bothered too much about it either. It shall be a reminder to me that I been put through a series of test to prove my commitment to baby Kaelin.
" ..and many women quit breast-feeding altogether.."
I can gladly gave myself a pat on my shoulder and said I passed.
ade.loves
But firstly thank you SO much to those who encouraged me and shown care for my breastfeeding issues. I really appreciate it.
Reasons of me not updating frequently is partly due to the overwhelming attention baby Kaelin is demanding from me. From breastfeeding round the clock every 1-3 hourly, 12 hours a day, diaper changing so many times till I lost count. Not to mention soothing her colicky cries for hours. Taking care of a newborn is seriously no joke!!!
After a week of struggling with my perineal wound, comes my feeding woes. I thought I had all the answers about breastfeeding. After all I breastfed Kieran for 18 months. I left the hospital so confidently.
A week later here I am battling with my breastfeeding woes. So much so that I was traumatised and if I had gone through this episode earlier during Kieran's time perhaps I would have not continued with my second baby. - maybe.
Not that I had the most perfect and painless experience with Kieran but I swear this time round the pain really took me to another level.
My breast was engorged one afternoon after miss fed for 6 hours. Both me and baby Kaelin was sleeping so soundly and I was obviously dead tired from the previous night of soothing not 1 but 2 crying machines. the engorgement didn't went off till I slept with pain killer.
Woke up at midnight by high fever, shivered like mad, very bad nausea and vomiting. I felt myself almost fainting from the giddiness, couldn't even make my way properly to the toilet.
The next morning hub accompanied me to see the doctor. I was diagnosed with "mastitis" they gave me antibiotics and was massage by one of the nurses to clear the blocked ducts. The nurses was kind enough to massage not using her full strength but it was still painful enough that I clenched my fists and my teeth so tightly with each of her pushes.
 |
| antibiotics and paracetamol. |
What is mastitis?
Mastitis is a breast inflammation usually caused by infection. It can happen to any woman, although mastitis is most common during the first 6 months of breast-feeding. It can leave a new mother feeling very tired and run-down. Add the illness to the demands of taking care of a newborn, and many women quit breast-feeding altogether. But you can continue to nurse your baby. In fact, breast-feeding usually helps to clear up infection, and nursing will not harm your baby. Although mastitis can be discouraging and painful..
Mj was kind enough to supply me with her "over stocked" of frozen bm when I was told that I can't feed Kaelin with this antibiotic given, so me and hubby drove down her house that night to collect from her, felt kind of bad to wake her up from sleep in the middle of the night.Happily I thought I would recover after the massaage and after taking the antibiotics but instead it got worst. The pain intensified each day. 2 days later I was referred to KK hospital A & E. Thanks to my dear fren Maggie who told me how the treatment for mastitis was like in hospital I cried even before the treatment starts!!!
I was told by her from her friend experience that they used cows and bulls trength to push and massage till the lump and ducts clear, then blood and pus will ooze out of the nipples pores! how scary is this?!
Though I really dread going to the hospital but I felt helpless, plus the pain was really killing me. After examined and confirmed it was mastitis, the lactation consultant massage me AGAIN for an hour! This time round much more pain!!! I was at first hopeful that perhaps they would use another method to treat me.
Maggie was right, they really used cows and bulls strength on me but still the lump was there and no signs of blood and pus yet.
 |
| painkillers |
After a week of antibiotics and using the method of massage they taught me, my condition did not improve the slightest bit! in fact it got more swollen, red, and the lump becomes harder. With all these add the demands from my two babies got me all depressed and moody. I couldn't stop thinking what went wrong, I took my med on time, massage using the same method every 3 hourly, each massage was as if nightmare to me at times I broke into tears while doing it, I was like inflicting pain to myself!
Imagined the the pain of the wound is like scalded skin with burning sensation and yet I had to forced myself to pressed hard and massage for 20 mins.How can it not get better with all these efforts and sacrificing my much needed sleep?!
Thankfully I had my mil and my maid to help me out with Kieran during this period, at the same time I really felt guilty that I had neglected him and I miss him sleeping beside me. I totally didn't enjoyed breastfeeding my baby this time round nor well rested during my confinement because I was all worn out anticipating the pain.
I decided to seek second opinion from another lactation consultant at Mount A hospital. I almost threw the name card away over confidently thinking I wouldn't be calling them anyway.
I was then referred to a breast surgeon there after the consultant seen me. Doctor Yong did an ultrasound scan for me said it had already developed into breast infection with abscess. My previous antibiotics wasn't strong enough for me. The only way was to do a needle aspirations or surgery to remove the abscess and blood out. Of cause I choose needle method. Who in the right mind wants to let the breast go under the knife? unless its for cosmetics reason!
 |
| Stronger antibiotics and ointment |
1st and 2nd needle aspiration.
Finally the swell subside a bit and with stronger antibiotics given. I felt myself in good hands. I am confident of Dr Yong. Because the affected area is just right below my skin. The swelling burst two days ago which I had been warned of. Bad blood oozed out. going for my 3rd treatment 2 days later.
It looks so bad now revealing the flesh underneath. , but Thank God the pain is much alleviated now.
Almost all my friends who know of my condition persuaded me to give up breastfeeding Kaelin, even Hubby who had been the most supportive asked me to stop too as a short cut to my recovery. Initially I was pretty upset, I thought he understood me the most, and would continued to support and encourage me to nurse myself back. But after much thought I realised he also meant well for me and didn't want to see me go through such pain.
Though I was tempted of taking the short cut cause the pain was almost killing me, but at the back of my head I clearly know what's best for my baby, I kept praying to God, cause only he know what is the best solution. If Dr Yong never advice that I should stop breastfeeding Kaelin, then I will continue to do what I think is right.
I wish to post those pictures of my gross wounds and my breasts but of cause I couldn't, it would definitely scare those new mummies!
Note to new moms out there: A lesson I learnt. If you ever experience engorgement with redness, pain on your breast and fever, don't wait, go to the hospital immediately, not to normal GPs they are not breast nor lactation specialist, they may gave you wrong advice and prescribed wrong antibiotics.
Now as I look at my wound I wondered if it would leave a scar behind as it was quite big. Anyway I shouldn't be bothered too much about it either. It shall be a reminder to me that I been put through a series of test to prove my commitment to baby Kaelin.
" ..and many women quit breast-feeding altogether.."
I can gladly gave myself a pat on my shoulder and said I passed.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
D-day 2
Been wanting to blog since the day Kaelin was born, but juggling with a baby and a toddler while managing with postnatal pains and wound really keeps me off tasks and let alone blogging. Guess i'll have trouble blogging for quite a while. Still, I don't wish to let the memories of the day she was born to fade.
On the 22nd August Wednesday, 7am. (Just 3 hours away from seeing Dr Don for my appointment) I was awoke by what I thought the need to run to the toilet but after several mins the pain got more intense. Then I quickly woke dearie up and I told him I think I am having contractions pain. He was still in slumber but I got more panicky as each pain intensified and I couldnt even brush my teeth properly. He asked if he could take a shower! I said, "NO!" Dearie called for Dr Don to inform him and to meet us at the hospital.
We left the house at around 7.30am, reached the Mount Alvernia at around 8.30am because of the congested morning traffic.
I was wheeled to the delivery suite upon alighting. Dearie requested for epidural from the nurse on my behalf, how well he knows me! but after the nurse checked, she said, "no need epidural, baby is coming out soon" i was already 9cm dilated but my water bag did not broke. (because her face was facing upwards)
With much doubts I requested for the epi again. my question is "how soon?! I couldn't tolerate the pain any seconds longer!!!" despite me asking for it again, she still refuses to give it to me.
She handed the gas to me, dearie holding for me encouraging me to sniff and relax, after sniffing for 10 mins or so, I was in a daze, I could only hear voices couldn't open my eyes to see what was happening.
Shortly after we arrived Dr Don walked in the suite said hi, and check on me again. He said, "baby is coming out.." I replied, "when?!" (in much pain)
He said, "you can push now.."
From this moment the birth process was beautiful, it was almost everything what I wanted. (except for those pains) A quick and natural delivery.
Dearie hold my hand and not letting go, wiping away my tears and sweat as he was counting with the rest and motivating me with each pushes.
It was extremely painful, I seriously don't know how to describe the kind of pain I was in especially towards the end I was shouting and screaming as I feel her moving every inches down the birth canal stretching my skin to it's earthly limit, even my throat hurt from my constant yelling.
Finally I heard her cries. Thank God, the pain was over. ( for that moment.)
She completes us..
our pure joy
Kieran meet Kaelin for the first time.
First stroke..
first kiss..
second kiss..
third kiss..
fourth..
fifth..
sixth! he simply cannot resist his baby sister charm. "Kieran, we can feel your love Mei mei!" even mei mei signal, "stop kissing me korkor!"
we handed the gift we bought for Kieran as though from his baby sister.
Unwrapping his present time!
enjoying his remote controlled car
the result of pushing too hard and fast.
my pretty eyes. haha. Alright. gotta get back to my real life. Thanks to those who came down to visit and for those sweet congratulatory comments.
Anyway couldn't have done it without dearie by my side. And praise the lord for the smooth delivery and for his sweet gift to us.
Our family has grown! this has always been what I wanted. A boy and a girl. Love it. <3 p="p">
Anyway couldn't have done it without dearie by my side. And praise the lord for the smooth delivery and for his sweet gift to us.
Our family has grown! this has always been what I wanted. A boy and a girl. Love it. <3 p="p">
Cheers! will TRY to update more!
ade.loves
Arrival of Kaelin
Kaelin Koh Jie Lin
Wednesday 22 August 2012
9:00 am
3.025kg
Love at first sight. My sweet, beautiful and dainty little Angel.
can't get my eyes and hands off her!
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